Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast, vol. 8
Where I share some cool thoughts
Thank you so much for taking a peek at this week’s version of Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast. Please share if you think you know someone who would like these thoughts, too!
Onward!
1. Naval Ravikant wrote this thought-changing quote:
“Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.”
What if this were true? You could easily decide not to make contracts with yourself that would end in unhappiness. This thought is not new, having been kicked around by the Stoics and the Buddhists, but it is a wake-up call for those of us who entertain sadness.
2. Naval Ravikant also had something to say about online activities:
“Mute the nitpickers, block the outraged, like the kind, follow the insightful.”
What a powerful philosophy for life, too! Online, it seems like these actions would be second nature, although many of us internalize negative feedback and ignore the encouraging stuff. But in real life, following these guidelines would save much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
3. But how do you prep yourself for writing or doing something you love?
“Starting copying what you love. Copy copy copy copy. At the end of the copy you will find yourself."
-Yohji Yamamoto
I can attest to this method. Following closely in someone’s footsteps can lead to a new path. As a young person, I wrote out the first three chapters of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and more recently, I have copied out Steven Moffat’s script, The Magician’s Apprentice, to learn how these writers think.
It may feel like a waste of time. However, there are nuances of thought, as well as pacing and timing, which can be learned only by closely adhering to a master’s hand.
Many of the most original thinkers I work with have shadowed their heroes in such a way. If not writing, than composition, or tracing, or telling the same jokes in the same way.
I challenge you to identify someone who’s work you admire, and dip into their practice. Copy what they do exactly, word for word, line for line, and see if it doesn’t change your practice.
4. The following thought really reverberates for me right now.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” - Roy T. Bennett
This is quite the kicker. Why would you have to consciously give up carrying a weight? Wouldn’t we do this naturally, eagerly? Not always. Sometimes, weights are comforting, expected, or feel like a legitimate part of ourselves.
5. Consider participating in this exercise on End of Life Doula Training, described by Rachel Friedman. It’s a way of gaining deep perspective on your life in a radical, grounded fashion.
Be warned. You may want to skip this if you are in the middle of grieving or dealing with end of life issues directly. Otherwise . . .
Imagine you have three months to live
I’m not going to lie to you: This exercise isn’t going to feel great! Please do it only if you feel equipped to engage with feelings of grief and loss. I recommend having someone you trust read it to you, someone who also has the emotional bandwidth and who is not currently grieving. You’ll need a pen and paper. Choose a time when you’re not going to feel rushed and are in a comfortable space. Take some deep breaths. Settle in. Here we go.
Write down your five most-prized possessions, your five favorite activities, your top five values, and the five people you love the most.
Close your eyes. Imagine you’re at a doctor’s office. You’ve just been given a terminal diagnosis and told you have approximately three months to live. Sit with that news. Breathe. Open your eyes. Cross any four items off your list.
Close your eyes. You’re back home with your spouse or friends or children or pet. You have to find a way to tell those you love: “I’m dying.” Breathe. Open your eyes. Cross another four items off your list.
Close your eyes. You’ve started feeling the effects of your illness. You can’t get around as easily. Your sleep is restless. You’re nauseated from the medications you’re taking. Breathe. Open your eyes. Cross four more items off your list.
Close your eyes. You’re mostly confined to your bed now. Your loved ones have gathered because they know they will soon have to say goodbye. They drift in and out of your bedroom, or wherever you have chosen to spend your final days, holding your hand, perhaps playing music you like or reading aloud your favorite book. Breathe. Open your eyes. Cross four more items off your list.
Close your eyes. You’re in bed, eyes closed, unable to move much or to speak at all. You sense that you’re going to die soon, and you wonder what will happen when you go. What are you thinking about in these final moments? Breathe. Open your eyes. Cross the remaining four items off your list.
Whew. You did it. Make sure to give yourself as much time as you need to regroup before you reenter the “real world.” Sit still. Focus on your breath. Drink lots of water.
When I did a version of this exercise, I was amazed at how real loss and grief felt as I crossed items off my list. (There is nothing quite like imagining your kid’s life without you to bring on The Sobs.) I don’t want to overstate the impact of imagining loss versus actually experiencing it, nor minimize our individual, multi-faceted responses to real grief, but research has shown that stressful life events can change us, and that includes clarifying our values and priorities. Maybe you, like me, tapped into some of that clarity during this exercise.
This exercise can be found in context here.
Did you learn anything about yourself, your connections, your values, and what matters to you by doing this exercise? I did.
6. In case you missed them, here are some articles I wrote this week:
Ding! Ding! Ding! Time to Check on Your Well Being
Does Your Mind Flip Through Channels Too Quickly? How to Concentrate Better
Thank you for reading! Have an awesome week.
"would save much wailing and gnashing of teeth." NiceXD!